All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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