i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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