office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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