I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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