am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
