was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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