threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
