Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
