Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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