That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
