so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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