i dont even know how to be here
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
