So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
