one word: firstdatebathroomanal
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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