Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
