im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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