your thong is hanging out like whoa
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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