WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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