I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
