i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
