don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
