I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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