don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
