It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
