i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
