how can u be prego again
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
