Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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