Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
