sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
