I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
