there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
