You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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