Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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