All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
