I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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