Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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