his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
