What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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