So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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