yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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