Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
