careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
