and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
