U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
