I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
