i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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