Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
