I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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