Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
