all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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