I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
