She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
