nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
