I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
