similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
